Good Week

Well, I managed to go to the gym for all 3 classes this week.

This morning was rough. I felt weak and I had a hard time keeping my breathing right which caused me to get that lovely pain in my side.

I didn't eat like I should have yesterday and I think that had a lot to do with feeling so weak this morning. I only ate one meal yesterday, around 2pm. I know better.

I got busy at work so I didn't eat breakfast. I'm not much of a breakfast eater anyway so it's easy for me to skip. Then my sister called me at lunch time to see if I could take our father home, he was done his treatment and his wife couldn't pick him up for another 2.5 hours. So off I went.

Of course seeing him got my stomach in knots. He is really struggling and seeing him like that is so damn hard. He's walking with a cane now, some days he's even in a wheelchair depending on how much pain he's in.

But I plugged along, making small talk, trying to keep things light. We're still feeling our way around each other. It's better though.

I finally grabbed lunch after I took him home and it was McDonald's. Yuck. I always regret eating there. But it was fast and convenient at the time.

Then I ran to pick up Abby and then off to get Trev. I get back home and just curl up in the recliner. And there I stayed until it was time for soccer practice which I was dreading. I just didn't want to be around Barry and Chris. I know it's stupid but it's the truth. Mainly, I'm not in the mood to force myself to be friendly with them. I hate that I feel like I have to. And it's forced on both sides.

It's a long, stupid situation that I couldn't even begin to explain here so I'm not going to bother. It's just something that irritates the shit out of me which makes me angry because I don't want to spend what energy I do have on stupid stuff like that. You know?

So I planted my butt in my chair and kept to myself. I waved and said hello but that was it. I'm not rude but I'm not going out of my way either. I mean this whole situation could probably be made better if JR and I were to reach out and basically smooth things over. I just don't know if I want to.

Whatever.

By the time we got home from practice, I was hungry but I didn't want to eat. So I didn't and I paid the price this morning.

We have another busy weekend ahead with absolutely no down time. Tonight is the Fall Soiree at Trev's school-basically it's a fundraiser and I'm going alone. That's a whole other story too but I'm trying to be more positive so I won't bitch about that too. Then on Saturday we have soccer from 9am to 3pm. And then my in-laws want everyone to come over to eat crabs which means my SIL and her family will be there. Ugh. And then on Sunday is JR's grandmother's big birthday bash, we have to be there at 1pm and who the hell knows when we'll get out of there.

And since I've spent the majority of this post being bitchy and complaining, I have to try and balance it out with listing some positives. Here goes:

• I made it to the gym 3 times this week
• I have cooked dinner every night this week (great news for our finances)
• I have taken my thyroid medication everyday (I forget it all the time)
• I have not been consumed with overly anxious thoughts
• I have not been panicky
• I have gone to bed at a reasonable hour 4 out of 5 nights

So all in all it's been a good week.